Shae lived in a country that had a rule. Sexual control and comparison was the basis of the money system. If you wanted to be intimate, you must be sexual with three people at a time. No less. If you broke this law and chose to be intimate with one person, you would pay a tax equivalent to your year’s salary for each offense. It was the law.
This law of comparison created the disease of sexual jealousy. Sexual jealousy was based in competition. If one was inadequate, another could easily be found. This made many confident ones comfortable and happy, yet the ones longing for specific attention felt incapacitated, needy, and disabled.
Many were fearful of the jealousy disease due to God’s judgment, failure in performance, and homosexuality. Many were fearful of the Law as if the law was an entity of itself that could cut off body parts just for seeking pleasure and happiness with a consenting adult.
Shae fit into the last category. He was worried that the law would cause his beloved to seek a woman that surpassed his capability, skill, and attention. Yet, he worried that if he slept with his beloved and a man, he might find himself attracted to the same-sex and face God’s judgment. This was not acceptable according to the laws of the prophets and profits of his social community. His ancestors would disown him in the after life if they knew he was having anal sex. Neither was acceptable and both created sexual jealousy. He wanted to know the best solution for how to break free from sexual jealousy to have a fulfilling, orgasmic relationship.
Shae was fearful like many. Fearful people chose celibacy to avoid living in a tent, but they often succumbed to early death from lack of love. Many people were asexual who were open to singing, walking, and looking into the eyes of another person exclusively yet they viciously refused all touch.
Asexuals, celibates, and born again virgins compared themselves constantly. One was higher than the other based upon little tiny rules similar to the hair growing on a person’s toes. The most dominant on the list of virtuous was the asexual comparison. An asexual person could be labeled a born again virgin by baptizing oneself in the blood of a being who died as a virgin. A born again virgin could hold the hand of the sexually fallen, those who had sex, got away with it, and disappeared into homeless camps to survive.
The growing tent community gathered together to sing songs around a campfire to fight off their anxiety, but the solitude and loneliness pressed hard on the hearts of many. The leading cause of death was heart attacks, which was complicated by constant coughs and heaviness of the chest.
Shae loved a woman who was extraordinary. She was elegant, powerful, graceful, and present. He wanted her exclusively for himself as he didn’t want to measure his love to others. Comparison created fear and jealousy. He wanted to be with her, but he feared being diminished.
One part of him was accepting of the concept of sharing, which manifested in his right foot. The other aspect that rejected the sharing concept manifested in his left foot. The two feet disagreed and separated as if they belonged to two bodies instead of one. He hoped the force of water would heal his feet, so he ran daily on the beach. But alas, each day he walked with a wider stride, a heavier heart, and fear from his indecision.
He went to a doctor for a pill that could solve his medical issue, but the doctor only gave him advice. “Cross your feet all night and do the opposite the next day.”
Shae followed his advice and even wrapped his feet with rope to keep them in place. By morning, he felt he was floating. He removed the binding on his feet, set his bare feet on the ground, and stepped forward. The heaviness of comparison and the heaviness of his beliefs were gone. He could walk and he could love his beloved without feeling distress from sexual comparison.
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